As hard as The One Man ThrillRide tried to will his team to victory, it just didn’t work. TB12 and the rest of the Patriots will sit at home in their own tears as Peyton gives it one final go at Super Bowl 50 in San Francisco.

For a week, Patriot nation said this wouldn’t be a game. They said this was just a formality before their trip to San Fran. They said this game was a joke. They said this was just formality. They said the only thing happening Sunday afternoon was Peyton’s funeral. Bill and Tom would come in and take the playoff rubber-match against their nemesis, and in turn put the old bag of bones in a coffin.

Now look who is stuck with their dick in their hands. You guys fucked up, cause Peyton came to play.

I mean shit, this is a straight up dime. Like this is vintage Sheriff; going five wide, picking apart the defense, and then putting the ball in the perfect spot where even Owen Daniels (who got ditched by the freakin Texans) can make a play.

Peyton and Co. dominated that first half.  Von Miller had a few sacks and was giving Brady CTE with every chance he got to get in the pocket, and he picked off the infallible demigod once as well. CJ Anderson had a decent enough day on the ground to keep the defense off balance and let Peyton throw the two scores he needed to win this one.

Even with the refs handing the ball to the Pats after an overturn of an unchangeable play, the Broncos held strong. This helped a little though…

In the words of the great Rasheed Wallace, ball don’t lie. Anyone blaming this loss on Gostkowski though is an idiot. Yea, the dude left one point on the board, but if the O-line didn’t get eaten alive, Malcolm Butler didn’t get killed all night by Emmanuel Sanders, and TB12 didn’t find the guys in orange more than the end zone, the kick wouldn’t have mattered.

Honestly, the Pats should have known this game was over the second they allowed Peyton to break off a 12 yard run, walker in tow, for a huge first down. That shit just can’t happen.

The Denver defense beat Brady, but the New England D couldn’t do the same to Manning.

Brady Passer Rating: 56.4

Manning Passer Rating: 90.1

Head to Head Play off Record: Manning 3- Brady 2

After hanging their livelihoods on this game, winning the Superbowl after the Deflategate, and ending Peyton’s career, Patriot Nation may actually die. The city of Boston may collapse. It all may be over for the entire New England Region, stay tuned.

VON MILER? YUP! OWEN DANIELS? YUP! PEYTON MANNING? YUP! SUPERBOWL BOUND? YUP!

P.S Sure the Broncos won the AFC Championship, but the real winner here was the internet…and it wasn’t even close.

P.P.S Brady realllyyyyy regrets this email right about now.