“Fuck”

-Matt Damon in The Martian

This is the sentiment of most Pats fans on this somber Monday.  Last night puts the stamp on another failed season.  Brady should be cut.  Gostowski should be burned at the stake and the lovable Pat the Patriot should jump off the Tobin. In the coming weeks I am expecting to see the Patriots change their name to The New England Losers, because that’s what they are.

Peyton Manning had one goal this week, and it was showing off his footlong chicken parm sub that he usually has to tape to his leg during games to keep from flopping around the field.  The tape came off Sunday. Matt Patricia, the single worst defensive coordinator of all time, had no answer.  Maybe it was the GOAT’s 6 inch forehead that blinded Jamie Collins and Malcolm Butler.  Maybe he realized that his beard isn’t even nice and decided that it wasn’t worth winning anymore, either way the Pats are one of the worst franchises in the history of things.

Tom Brady Worst Ever should just give up the game at this point. Is he stupid or is he a loser? Give up the game Tom. Brady was exposed Sunday as the single worst quarterback to step on the field.  This one loss out weighs all other accomplishments and honestly make him a bad quarterback and a bad leader.

The Patriots are the luckiest team in the history of sports.  You don’t make the playoffs 14 of the last 15 years with skill.  We all know luck is a lady, which by the transitive property makes luck a bitch.  Well after years of teasing the cheating bastards luck finally caught up with them.

How does Von Miller’s ball sack taste Bill?

Anyone that roots for the Pats is probably an idiot, and stupid.  I mean they are like so bad.  The past doesn’t even matter, because they lost they are the worst team in the league and in history and ever.  Tom Brady, Worst Ever.

Look at statistics. No one has lost more big games than Tom Brady.  He only won against Oakland that one time because everyone knows they paid the refs to make up a rule.  He always has the best wide receivers ever to throw to, and no one ever gets an injury when they play for Tom Brady.  That is just a fact. Why isn’t the NFL investigating that? And I get Giselle is actually in some drug cartel, some Tom Brady is really just a huge criminal.  Lock him up Goodell. There hasn’t been a better Commissioner in the NFL ever, in history.  He handles every issue flawlessly, except that he hasn’t just kicked the Patriots out of the league.

It would be a better NFL without the Patriots.  There would be no more Bill, no more Tom, no more sadness.  The Patriots only bring sadness, because they cheat and win games, and they win more than other team ever has, but they aren’t even good.  All four of their super bowl wins are fake, and weren’t real.  Tom Brady isn’t the QB for one of the most dominant teams in the history of sports.  He’s a meany and a loser.

Wanna know why I believe this?

Because I’m a fucking moron.

 

 

If you thought an intelligent human could write this then you should see if a toaster will float in the bathtub with you.